Everyone's Favorite Topic

Ahhh. That wonderful Winter Break rhythm.

10AM: Roll out of bed wrapped in a soft blanket with fuzzy slippers.

10:15AM: Eat breakfast.

10:30AM: Laze around, go on Facebook, speculate on prospective holiday gifts.

12:00PM: Eat lunch.

12:15PM: Maybe go to a friend's house. Maybe go ice skating. Nah. Too much work.

6:00PM: Eat dinner.

7:30PM: Option A: Open a Hanukkah present, play dreidel, and eat chocolate gelt (the ones made in Israel, not China, because Chinese gelt has melamine in it)

Option B: Check Facebook. Speculate on prospective holiday gifts. Then watch a movie.

12AM: Go to bed. Unless you're at a party. In that case:

3AM: Stumble into bed.

So, obviously, the one and only subject that everyone wants to think about right now is FINALS, right?

Congratulations to those of you have already taken (and hopefully passed) those dreaded exams. Unfortunately, all we Paly kids have yet to partake in this infamous institution of higher education.

Several experts sounded off on whether the administrative decision to have Winter Break preceed finals is doing any favors for GPAs. And by experts, I do not mean the school administration (although they do perform the crucial functions of legislating, enforcin

g, AND interpreting school policy), nor do I mean those parents who remember exactly what it was like to be a high school student at finals time.

I mean us. We, the students, have spoken. And here is what we said.

So there you have it. The raw facts. This is straight talk, everyone.

Now that that's all over with, go out and have a stupendous, fantastic, fabulous, (relaxing), WINTER BREAK!

Winter Migratory Habits of the Palalius Studentis

Palalius studentis

common in Western Coastal suburban environments, usually in communities proximal to prestigious universities

12/18/08

Startling new evidence has come to light that the migratory habits of the Palalius studentis are evolving and changing, as published in a recent study. More and more of these rare creatures are resisting their innate urge to embark upon a ritual and traditional migration during the approximately 2-3 week period before the Great Study Session, which precedes the tribal evaluations that mark the Semesterial End of Academic Cognitiation at the Tribal Academy.

Several members of the species, using a combination of sign language and grunts, were able to convey their own feelings on the subject of migration and whether or not they will be performing this sacred ritual. 

NOTE: Translations may be slightly irregular due to the bulk of research having been performed in Kazakhstan.

Specimen 1, age 17: We will linger within our cottage and merely journey out of doors to locations that rest near at hand.

Specimen 2, age 15: I betake of myself to Beirut which is conveniently situated inside the sovereign state of Lebanon.

Specimen 3, age 14: I will not venture to a foreign clime, but rather reside directly in this spot.

Specimen 4, age 14: Los Angeles. (English: the village where habit the divine messengers and also the VIPs)

Specimen 5, from a neighboring tribe, age 16: Whilst at present I exist lodged in the interior of Oregon, I forsee myself proceeding into the zone encircling this city of the Sacred Mento. The reason I forsee myself voyaging to this location is owing to the fact that it is populated by my granny.

[Seventeen more specimens were interviewed, but they were unable to coherently answer interview question. Several became violent and began uprooting trees and flinging nearby objects at our researchers. It was concluded by the Kazakhstan lab team that this clearly signified that the specimens were in fact staying in their village during the winter months.]

Experts are worried by the implications of this extreme shift in what appeared to be a static societal institution in the classic hierarchy of this civilization. Several even went as far as to question the credibility of the data. However, Dr. Onevorschkiyeviblinsk, the head researcher in the Kazakhstan lab, has assured his fellow scientists that there could not possibly have been any discrepancies in the data collection processes nor in the subsequent translations that yielded the final conclusions, nor were any Palalius studentis specimens harmed in the research performed.

- Dmitri Gulyible, Kazakhstan News Service

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is bittersweet this year.

My thoughts are with the victims of terrorist attacks carried out yesterday on a hotel in Mumbai. The weather's a little gloomy. Piracy is still apparently rampant on the high seas; at least in Somalia. Jon Stewart won't have any new material until December 1. And the economy - well, you know.

But on the sweet side, we don't have school until Monday, I'm about to go stuff myself with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, three kinds of pie and four kinds of popcorn, I'm going to see Twilight with my friends this weekend, Ms. Sarah Palin is staying where she belongs in Alaska (so far), and we have an incredible new administration ready and waiting to get in there and start FIXING things.

I invite you to post your Thanksgiving thoughts, wishes, hopes, comments, shoutouts, admonitions, or anything else that happens to be going through your head on this wonderful autumn day.

Have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

PYIC Attendees: Watch and Vote!

These are the issues our country has to face. Can we fix them?

**If you're going to the Presidential Youth Inaugural Conference this January, vote for this video! 

GO HERE TO VOTE!!!!**

Homecoming '08!

"Dance moves" is an oxymoronic phrase at Paly dances. Students are squished together so tightly on the floor of the gym that there's barely room to move enough to convince the parent chaperones that you are alive; I don't know how they expect to discern which dancers may have been under the influence.

Speaking of which, I almost failed my breathalyzer test. Not because I'd been drinking, but because I kept blowing incorrectly. The kind breathalyzer lady told me to blow into the funnel on the end of the air-horn shaped device just like I would if I was blowing out birthday candles. I blew. She was silent.

Oh my God, am I going to test positive for alcohol? Did the breath mint I just had somehow set off the trigger? I wasn't drinking, I swear it!

She peered at the air horn. "Blow harder," she said. I did.

She sighed. "Go on in."

After talking with several other breathalyzer virgins (who made up approximately 92% of my completely unbiased sample), I found comfort in the fact that I was not the only one who was seemingly incapable of blowing out birthday candles. One sophomore said that when she tried for the third time to get the device to register her breath, the administrator operating the breathalyzer snapped, "Moving your head around won't help anything. Look, blow on my hand."

But despite the indignities suffered, the procedure did seem to work the way it was intended to.

Two of Paly's assistant principals confirmed independently that there were no positive breathalyzer tests (although there was a rumor floating around the dance floor of at least one) and Assistant Principal Jerry Berkson maintained that the dance policy was much easier to enforce this year. "I've found that alcohol is a major contributor to raunchy dancing," he said, "and breathalyzers have really helped this year."

Assistant Principal Kim Diorio estimated over $3500 in ticket sales for a ticket count of 700, a figure substantiated by Principal Jacqueline McEvoy. According to Ms. Diorio, that number is about the same as last year. 

Of course, this means that demand for tickets has actually fallen among, to quote a certain vice-presidential candidate, "real" Paly students, and it is only the extra 100 freshmen who have made up the difference.

But I don't begrudge the freshmen. They've provided us with a number of really amusing amazing dancers. I caught up with one of them - actually, I yelled questions at him over the music and he tried to yell back but I missed most of what he said (like his name). His style of dancing is quite unique and really fun to watch; it's a combination of octopus arm movements and moonwalking. Apparently, this new genre was developed quite recently; the man with moves like an extraterrestrial mollusk didn't go to any dances at Jordan, although he did go to the first Paly dance.

And so ended the 2008-09 Paly Homecoming Dance. Congratulations to Homecoming Queen and Senior Spirit Commissioner Lucy McComas, and to her male counterpart, whose name I did not catch.

Has the administration hit on the right balance between control and freedom, inconvenience and safety? Only you can say, but what I can say is, live from Palo Alto, that was Saturday night.

PSAT: Are you ready?

Paly juniors this week are preparing to take the PSAT, a test that (supposedly) gives students an idea of how they will score on the all-powerful SAT, the mother of all tests.

Time was, anyone from the freshman with the overachieving parents to the senior who wanted one more practice round before the real deal could take the PSAT. This year, the Paly administration has decided to limit testing strictly to juniors.

The majority of freshmen, sophomores, and seniors probably couldn't care less, and I'm looking forward to that 10:45am Wednesday start time just as much as the next kid.

But shouldn't anybody be able to take the test if they want to?

Being a true Palo Alto kid, I trekked over to the tower building as soon as I heard about the test to ask the kind guidance staff if I could possibly take the PSAT this year. Pretty please?

This is what I got: "No. You'll have to make arrangements at another school."

Pause.

Um, could you maybe tell me which schools are allowing us lowly sophomores to partake in the sacred ritual of the PSAT? Give me a phone number? An email? A website? A name? Anything?

"No." Pause. We stared at each other.

Then, "I'm sorry. I don't know which other schools are offering it."

Um, lady, you're the supreme head of all standardized testing at Paly. You're sitting in front of a computer. There is a phone two inches from your right hand. And you can't make one call so that you can at least tell every overachieving Paly sophomore about another school to which they could pay money to sit for hours and take a test they don't really want to take anyway?

I left. We'd said all there was to be said. Well, I'd thought it, anyway.

Of course, there are legitimate reasons for the administration's decision. Yeah, there are a lot of Paly kids who'd like to take the PSAT. (Those extra 100 freshmen always ruin everything! :-) Yeah, that means more work for whoever fills out and files PSAT registration forms. Yes, I suppose if you really wanted to, you could make the warm-and-fuzzy-feel-good case that taking the PSAT as a sophomore and flunking it would kinda lower your self esteem.

But come on now. Kids as young as 7th grade are allowed to take the SAT! The real deal! And we, three years older, can't rely on our school to help us take the practice test? There isn't a way to register online for this test, like there is for the SAT. Collegeboard says, and I quote, "This test is administered by high schools, not through test centers. Online registration for the PSAT/NMSQT is not available."

It's like telling a 5-year-old at Great America that if they really want to go on Xtreme Skyflyer, they can go buy a ticket over there at the window. But a 10-year-old? No, you can't go on the carousel. You'll get hurt if you fall off the horse.

Eye Contact: The Presidential Debate

Pundits have been saying for days that this debate would not be about what the candidates said, but how they said it and what their body language was like.

I think most people could agree that the debate was fairly equal in terms of substance; if you agreed with one candidate at 5:59pm, your opinion was no different at 7:31.

Jim Lehrer started off by encouraging the candidates to speak directly to each other. It was a legitimate request; Barack Obama and John McCain know each other. They've worked together in the Senate.

Obama immediately picked up on this and was completely open and direct in his body language. He addressed McCain directly as "John" and called him out when he strayed from the truth.

By contrast, McCain never even looked at Obama.

He directed all of his comments to Lehrer and never once called Barack by name. Obama might as well not have been there.

McCain's message was pretty clear. As far as he was concerned, Obama wasn't really there. And if he was, he certainly wasn't worthy of consideration.

If McCain was coached on this, and he most certainly was, that was very carefully calculated to send a certain message to the American people.

Now, not having a TV myself, I went to watch the debate in a hotel bar. After it was done, I talked with a hotel worker about the outcome. He said he thought both candidates were crazy, but he also said, "I just couldn't vote for Obama. I don't trust him."

And even though you didn't say it, you knew why.

And it's scary. It's scary that America is so racist. If we can't make the right decision, I'm all for California seceeding from the union.

Arnold can be our president.

And you know what the really scary thing is?

I'm not kidding.

UPDATE: If anyone saw Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric: Why does Sarah call her running mate by his full name? Are they not even on first-name terms yet? Yikes.

Palo Alto's Party of the Year

A golden September twilight was sprinkled throughout the air. The light slowly faded into a shimmering darkness, illuminated only by occasional laughter and clinking of glasses. This being a Tuesday night, I had math homework, endless ions and compounds to memorize, and a complex number quiz to study for, but I could not have cared less.

I had just shaken hands with an Oscar-winner, a Nobel Peace Prize recipient, and the former vice-president of the United States of America.

I'd just met Al Gore.

My luck had come from a friend with connections to a certain company known for the incredible gourmet food it serves its employees, not to mention one of Silicon Valley's best-known companies.

The food at the party wasn't bad, but the company was phenomenal. You couldn't walk two steps without bumping into the CEO of FedEx, the author of a bestselling childrens' book series, or at least two journalists from the New Yorker. Barack Obama and Lance Armstrong had been on the guest list as well, but couldn't make it; Obama because he was down in LA at precisely that time at a fundraiser with his own celebrities, and Lance because he's busy training for his announced 2009 comeback to competitive cycling.

I forced myself to calm down as I stood a few feet away from the man who had been mere hanging chads from being the leader of the free world. Finally, he turned and fixed me with a piercingly intense stare. "It's such an honor to meet you," I said.

"Best of luck to you," he replied.

I already thought I was a pretty lucky girl. But a little extra from Al Gore doesn't hurt.

Wrapping Up the Torch

Olympic. The word has come to mean the epitome of greatness. An Olympic feat is a task one step short of superhuman. After all, people are only human.

But the 2008 Olympics came about as close as is humanly possible to the superhuman. From the moment the fiery footsteps started on their path across Beijing, events that would never even have been possible 20 years ago (and still stretch our conception of what is possible today) became reality.

43 World Records and 132 Olympic records were broken at this Olympics. A single person garnered eight gold medals; more than any other in history. (By the way, this same person gave swimming lessons to 30 lucky youngsters last week at the New York YMCA as part of his Visa sponsorship.) And whether or not the pool depth or various other tweaked factors made any impact on the athletes' performance, the fact remains that it was a human who broke each and every record, who swam each stroke, who ran each step, and who launched themselves airborne for every flip.

And speaking of humans, approximately 3 billion humans worldwide watched the 2008 Olympics.

One of those people was Lindsay Y, a senior at Paly. And she was actually there.

So, how bad was the weather? "It was hot for a few days, but I could definitely breathe. It was so much better than Shanghai," said Lindsay.

Tickets were sold by event, but at $30 per ticket for evening track finals, the cost was definitely not the limiting factor. "A lot of the tickets were reserved for Chinese companies to hand out to their employees," Lindsay said.

An international rumor was going around back when the Beijing venue was announced that there'd been an American who offered several thousand dollars to any hotel who could guarantee him a room for the Olympics. As the story goes, the hotels told him they could not guarantee him a room. Of course, many international guests were able to secure accommodation for those so very important 3 weeks in August. "There were definitely more foreigners in Beijing than normal," Lindsay said.

And of course, these Olympics did not go down without some contention. Liu Xiang, the famed Chinese hurdler, pulled out of the 110 meter hurdles with a severe injury to his foot after one false start. Clearly in a lot of pain as he took his mark for the start of the race, China's track champion started off the block only to be called back because of a false start. And that's when he made the decision to sit out. "I personally was really surprised because I didn't hear about his injury being that serious," said Lindsay. "I think about 60% of Chinese felt that it was not a legitimate injury. He was under a lot of pressure, though. He's really big in China - he was in so many ads."

The international stage was anything but calm as the fireworks exploded over the Birds' Nest, though. George W. Bush was seen chatting amiably in his seat next to Vladimir Putin as Russian tanks rolled into the former Soviet country of Georgia, and China endured criticism about their violations of Tibetans' human rights all throughout the Games.

However, this Olympics, China, the most populous nation in the world, showed how much can be accomplished with people power. This is a lesson Barack Obama and John McCain must understand as they ready themselves for the homestretch of a campaign that went on longer than any other in history. This is a lesson the Chinese government must also take in if they are to continue to grow economically and socially in world society. And this is a lesson we all must internalize and remember every time we think, "What I do doesn't matter. Someone else will do it."

But in truth, every chorus member, every background dancer, every person who moved a box up and down and made cherry blossoms bloom on the Great Wall of China, and every drummer counts towards the whole production and every person who participated makes the performance that much more spectacular.

Biden His Time

Complement or supplement?

That was the fundamental decision our two aspiring presidents had to make when selecting the top contender for Dick Cheney's soon-to-be-vacant position.

Is it better to fill in gaps in your resume or reinforce what you've already got? Obama, at least, has made his choice - at least according to the newspapers. Even though news of Obama's running mate is splashed all over online news sources, apparently he hasn't even made the formal announcement yet. CNN was the first to spill the news, and their source was a press leak, not a rousing speech by Barack himself. (By the way, today the Wall Street Journal released a headline news story naming Virginia Governor Tim Kaine as the running mate for the Obama; and retracted it hours later. They'd published information straight from the computer of some enterprising hoaxer.)

In naming Senator Joe Biden from Delaware as his right-hand man, it's clear Obama is looking to even out his credentials.

Here's the quick version:

Pros for Joe Biden: Well known in Washington. (Helps with experience issue.) Expert on foreign policy. (Helps there too.) Not too risky. (He's not going to make or break the election by himself.)

Cons for Joe Biden: Well known in Washington. (Undercuts Obama's message of change; Biden is a 6-term senator, which translates into 36 years as a Washington insider.) Expert on foreign policy. (Might be seen as better suited to the top job than Obama, given his knowledge of international affairs.) Not too risky. (He's not going to do much either way for polls.)

Conclusion: OK, Obama's going the safe route. Now who's his red elephant counterpart going to pick?

And speaking of John McCain, I half expected him to announce his running mate literally two minutes after Obama in order to dull the buzz surrounding the selected Democratic would-be VP.

And there are some radical choices out there for McCain VP's, including a woman (!!) from Alaska (!!).

But of course, we all know how McCain has been eyeing those 8 million votes Ms. Hillary Clinton could swing his way.

So hey! You never know.

Spotlight: International Soccer Camp in Holland!

An international athletic camp in Holland with kids from all over the world that will look good on a college transcript and be a lot of fun along the way? Sign me up.

People to People's Youth Friendship Games through their Sports Ambassadors program sounds like a total blast. Incoming Paly sophomore Julia E gives us the inside scoop on her international athletic experience.

Founded by President Dwight D. Eisenhower, People to People was established in 1956 to promote peace and understanding through international conferences - not between government officials, but between individual citizens. Eisenhower famously said, "The people want peace; indeed, I believe they want peace so badly that they governments will just have to step aside and let them have it."

The Sports Ambassadors program (www.sportsambassadors.org) is fairly new; it has only been in existence since 2000. According to Julia, it shows. Athletes for the summer program are nominated by their coaches from AYSO (the recreational league of soccer); not, as the website boasts, "through a selective interview and recommendation process." Applicants did go to one interview, but "I think everyone who applied was accepted," said Julia. And when scheduled plans for the 2,000+ student athletes fell through, more often than not they went souvenir shopping. The venerated "Friendship Village," the hub of everyday activities, consisted of seven tents and several soccer fields.

One of the tents boasted Domino's and Ben and Jerry's franchises, but otherwise, "the food was really bad," said Julia, recounting their first lunch of two pieces of bread and a slice of ham. "And the drink sizes were really small. They gave us a small tumbler of soda and expected that to last the whole meal."

By the end of the week, one girl was making a list of everything she was going to eat when she got home. Top of the list? "Fudge," said Julia.

According to Julia, there were almost enough redeeming qualities to make up for substandard food and underscheduled days. A bike tour of the Dutch countryside provided beautiful scenery, while other morning cultural trips included a boat ride on Amsterdam's canals and visits to cheese and clog factories. However, some days' agendas fell short of expectations. "What are the two places Amsterdam is famous for? The Anne Frank House and the Van Gogh Museum," said Julia. "We didn't go to either of them."

But the camp's main fault? "There was very little meaningful interaction with kids from other countries," stated Julia. "Mostly, it was American girls going up to non-American guys and going, "Hey, you're kinda cute." There was no, "Wow, what's it like to live in Brazil?"

Teams were mononational and assembled upon arrival at camp; there were US teams, Canadian teams, Saudi Arabian teams, etc. "We played a total of two international soccer matches," said Julia, "and we played four against American club teams."

The Sports Ambassadors Program participated in the Regional Haarlem Cup, which was open to club teams as well. "The club teams have been playing together for months, whereas we jest met days ago, so they had a huge advantage," said Julia.

That is not to say that no friendships were made. "We all bonded the most on the last day," said Julia, smiling ruefully. "Last summer, when I went to summer camp, I went in with one of my friends, so I didn't make very many new ones. But in Holland, all of us exchanged emails and Facebooks. One girl emailed me yesterday."

Last words? "I wish there had been more team-building with kids from difference countries." In other words, People to People is missing the "people" factor.

Spotlight: MODEL UN

Palo Alto's weather has recently improved, now resembling something reasonable for a state known for its beaches, and I'm starting to feel like it's really summer. Unfortunately, if it's really summer, that means that school is really going to start again in August. And if you, like me, have a lot of free time on your hands, you're probably looking ahead to the next school year (or trying not to) and thinking about (or trying not to) what classes and extracurriculars are going to both be fun for you and look decently challenging when you apply to college in two summers.

Soccer, football, basketball, swimming, water polo, music, art, and debate all feature prominently in "Mr. or Ms. Average American High School Student." Fencing, wrestling, curling, underwater basket weaving, and Model United Nations do not.

Hmmmm...Model UN...I think that's the thing I heard about once on the Simpsons, right? Where people have to dress up and talk about a bunch of boring things?

Is is boring to talk to a kid from Cancun, Mexico (who happens to have the same birthday as you) about what happened in their hotel last night? Is it boring to (almost) trip and go flying across a sidewalk on Telegraph Ave in Berkeley because you tried to run in high heels and you have to eat dinner at some place that serves edible food in half an hour? Is it boring to spend an hour arguing with people about why the US should bomb Iran? (Don't answer that last one.)

Model UN can be a blast, according to last year's Paly participants. One freshman MUNer from last year recalls that in the Security Council, "China led an effort to burn all the marijuana in the world with funding from the International Monetary Fund and then drop food by hot air balloon to satisfy 'the munchies.' And it was allowed."

While debate, Mock Trial and Model UN are often grouped in the same "nerd" category, the goal of Model UN is to work with other students to come up with realistic solutions to actual world problems. "[Model UN] teaches you to stand up for what you believe in," said the Paly MUN participant.

Debate, from what I hear, involves pulling a red Radio Flyer wagon overflowing with large sized storage boxes containing all of the possible research, arguments, and speeches that could be helpful in a one-on-one argument. Apparently, debaters don't know whether they will have to argue for or against something until they arrive at the competition. Judges have been known to fall asleep.

Mock Trial, on the other hand, requires new members to argue both sides of why Goldilocks was committing a felony when she broke into the Three Bears' house and stole their porridge, inflicted cruel and unusual punishment on an undersized chair, and then ran from the scene of the crime.

While all of these intellectual extracurriculars provide an opportunity for social networking and a reasonable amount of actual brain use, Model UN is the best choice for those who value the essential 21st century skills "cooperation and collaboration" and want to improve their speaking skills. Unlike Mock Trial and debate, Model UN allows for flexibility in the amount of involvement. Technically, one could sit through an entire Model UN conference without speaking a word. Or, one could give several of their own speeches, raise their placard to comment on every speech made by another delegate, write their own solution to the problem and talk it up to other delegates. This flexibility makes Model UN a good choice for beginners who may want to do Mock Trial or debate later in their high school career.

Of course, as with anything, Model UN is definitely not for everyone, and if you are shy, only doing it because your parents told you to, or have issues with sitting for long periods of time, Model UN is probably not for you.

I will close with a story I first heard from a Berkeley Model UN student. Disclaimer: this is not intended to be discriminatory in any way against any of the groups involved.

A worldwide one-question survey was recently conducted by the UN. The one question was: Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.

In Africa, they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant.

And in the United States, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

A gloomy summer day

62°F

Current:Cloudy
Wind: NE at 0 mph
Humidity: 79%

Mon

79°F | 54°F

Tue

77°F | 52°F

Wed

79°F | 54°F

Thu

79°F | 54°F

Summer is a time of sun. As Californians, we take this for granted. Everyone else wants our sun. Sunny beaches, sunny pools, sunny houses - wherever you are, a few rays of heavenly light have always seemed to find you.

Until now.

This year, Northern California's weather seems to be operating several seasons ahead. In fall, we had rain. In winter, we had sun. In spring, we had sun and rain, and now we're stuck in dreary midwinter gloom.

The 1,000+ wildfires eating up Northern California's dry grasses aren't helping. Smoke clouds our precious sunlight, making the process of venturing outside the house downright depressing. In the past few days, several Palo Altans have been known to wear coats outside at 2 in the afternoon.

And conditions will not improve throughout the week; out highest high will be 77 degrees, and our lowest low is a shocking 54.

But why sit around and complain? Just because NorCal's weather is stuck in a time-warp doesn't mean you don't have to stay. If you like it hot, check into Bullhead City, Arizona. At 10AM, it was 107.6, and tomorrow's high is 115. (And according to the latest edition of Via magazine, hotels drop their prices during the hot summer months.)

Of course, with fuel prices at nearly $5 a gallon, a "Great American Road Trip" with air conditioning and a blasting iPod remains a dream for most of us.

So stay home and blame it on global warming, but hey! Now you can do all those fun winter activities you didn't have time to do last year because you were studying for finals. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going ice skating.

*Thanks to www.wunderground.com for weather forecasts.

Racism '08...but against whom?

We all know that "race is a crucial factor in the 2008 Presidential election."

Barack Obama, as the first major party black presidential nominee in American history, has been said to "transcend" race and is hailed as "post-racial."

But not all prejudices are centered on African Americans.

On Monday, June 16th, Al Gore, in a speech endorsing Obama, said, "If you bought poisoned, lead-filled toys from China or adulterated medicine made in China, if you bought tainted pet food made in China, you know elections matter."

The blame was clearly intended to fall on the Bush administration for not pressuring the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to enforce food safety regulations, but the phrase came off somewhat like a dig at China.

Obama, in an April 14th speech on manufacturing and trade, recalled that "a few months ago, when I called for a ban on any toys that have more than a trace amount of lead, an official at China's foreign ministry said I was being 'unobjective, unreasonable, and unfair.' "

Obama criticized the Chinese government's conduct on multiple fronts, including violating intellectual property rights, unjustly valuing their currency at less than it's worth to boost their exchange rate, and flooding US markets without opening up their own.

John McCain, on the other hand, has in the past emphasized maintaining a good trade relationship with China and opposed sanctions on the country if they were found to be producing weapons of mass destruction. He explicitly asserted in 2000, "I would tell the Taiwanese that they should observe the one China policy which calls for peaceful reunification." 

However, as he emerged as the leading Republican presidential candidate, his positions have changed radically. In October 2007, McCain said, "If I were in Taiwan today, and I just saw what happened to Martin Lee in Hong Kong*, I would be very nervous about a peaceful integration into China. Remember the promises they made about what would happen in Hong Kong once they reintegrated back into China? None of those have come true."

*Martin Lee is a Chinese pro-democracy activist. His 2007 article about the Chinese government in the Wall Street Journal received harsh criticism from the government in Beijing.

In the election so far, there has not yet been one of those widely publicized political gaffes that requires an apology from a presidential candidate. However, there has been an undercurrent of resentment - conscious or not - toward China throughout the entire presidential campaign.

These seemingly innocuous comments are beginning to have an negative effect on Chinese-Americans' perceptions of presidential candidates as well.

One Chinese-American high school student said, "It always offends me a little if someone says something negative about China. It did take a while to sort of accept being Chinese [in America], because it always seemed to me like people looked down at us. I guess that feeling never really completely goes away."

Of course, it is unlikely that any one of the aforementioned comments in context would sway voters one way or the other. And there has been a lot of critical press focused on China because of the upcoming Olympics and tainted goods, so it's not surprising that politicians would pick up on that.

While there has been a lot of coverage of important voting demographics such as women, Jews, and the white working class, Chinese-Americans have not made the list. All the same,  if candidates want to secure every possible vote - and this fall, it will be especially important for Obama and McCain - they'll need to closely examine their positions and watch their words when making comments relating to Americans of Chinese descent.

As Mao Zedong said, "Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed."

TEAM Survey: Would You Do It Again?

A poolside party last night for all of Paly's freshman TEAM students provided a fitting end to a momentous first year of high school.

Right. Whatever. Not like we don't still have three more years to go before we take off. But anyway - the real question is whether TEAM is "so-cool-I'd-do-it-every-year-if-I-could!" or "lame."

TEAM (Together Everyone Achieves More) is a freshman-only program of 100 students that attempts to integrate the four core subjects and show how they are applicable in real life. In the past, the stereotype of TEAM has been that it is for kids who, socially or academically, would have trouble making the transition from middle school to high school.

However, this year, almost the majority of students who signed up were outstanding academically and could certainly have coped easily with mainstream high school. This has changed somewhat the overall image of TEAM - for the better.

This year, the majority of answers to the "hot-or-not" question showed that who else signed up for TEAM was the deciding factor in the choice of whether or not to participate.

"Basically, I signed up because my friends did," said one male TEAM student.

In the same vein, many incoming freshmen who chose not to participate in TEAM said it was because their friends were not planning on doing TEAM.

One other common concern - for parents at least - is that "my child's social circle will be limited." Most TEAM students clamor to refute this claim.

One TEAM student from Jordan said, "For me, TEAM is a place to make friends and hang out with them."

A student from the Peninsula school agreed that all the team-building activities featured throughout the year make it easier for those who don't know many people or are shy to get to know other students well.

And as one student said, "100 people is a lot of people to know."

Knowing approximately 1/4 of the freshman class well, some say, is better than knowing 3/4 a little or not at all. TEAM students have three out of seven classes daily (PE plus two electives) with students not from TEAM, so their social options are not as limited as parents may think.

Of course, as with all specialized programs, TEAM is certainly not for everyone. For those students who prefer to have each class with a different group of friends, TEAM may not be such a good match. And TEAM does ask parents to be active in their child's education by volunteering to help set up events, so parents whose professions require a large amount of travel may find it difficult to stay connected.

But then there are the field trips. TEAM students this year traveled to Foothills Park, Merced County, Monterey, Sunset Beach, and, of course, Yosemite. When asked whether or not she would do TEAM again, a students said immediately, "Yes! Because of the field trips."

This year has been a turning point for TEAM in terms of interest and demographics. The hope is that this "school within a school" will continue to change and grow. After all, TEAM is only as good as the teachers - and the students - make it.

It Happened!

Today, Saturday, June 7th, Senator Hillary Clinton conceded to Barack Obama, throwing her full support behind him and effectively launching the official start of the general election campaign.

Clinton's speech was well-written, but her delivery could have been more enthusiastic. She more or less read large sections of the half-hour speech, seeming tight and, and times, on the brink of tears. But the woman has just decided to end her historic campaign for President of the United States; of course she shows emotion.

Senator Clinton's website now asks visitors to sign up to support Barack Obama and, separately, to help her retire her campaign debt.

Senator Obama's website asks visitors to post comments thanking Senator Clinton for all she has done for the country.

The entire affair is slightly anticlimactic; Senator Clinton did what she had to do, and Senator Obama stayed largely out of it.

And so passes the campaign of the first major female candidate for President of the United States: in a quiet, sometimes painful concession.

This is what all the Democrats wanted, isn't it? To have Senator Clinton make way for the party hero, Barack Obama?

As George Bernard Shaw once said, "There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."

On the brink of nomination: Obama's victory

According to the press, Barack Obama has been "on the brink" of nomination for several weeks now. His website boasts his role as the leader of "the largest grassroots movement in the history of presidential politics." As you click onto his homepage, a splash greets you, reading "Barack Obama needs 10 delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination!"

So when's it gonna happen? When can the amazing phenomenon himself actually claim victory over Hillary Clinton?

Press and pundits alike give varied answers. "When Clinton concedes." "When he gets his 10 more delegates." "When it becomes clear that Clinton cannot win."
This last one expired several weeks ago, today the press said that Obama had "effectively sewed up the 2118 delegates needed for the nomination", and yet, Barack Obama has not officially declared himself the Democratic Party's nominee.

While his politeness in not edging out Ms. Clinton is certainly commendable, most Democrats agree that, as Obama himself said recently, "The sooner we bring the party together [presumably around him], the sooner we can start focusing on John McCain and the November election." A formal victory speech seems in order here.

But how much will the actual speech mean? It has been clear that Obama is the stronger candidate for a while now, and although the radio, the newspapers, and television all say that Obama will have clinched the nomination by tonight, the most the assertion can provide is, finally, a sense of satisfaction and stability for Democrats.

And, on a different note, what will Ms. Clinton's role be in the new administration? The media has delighted in publishing articles giving a plethora of reasons for stubbornly keeping her campaign alive.

"Ms. Clinton has privately consulted with Mr. Obama about his campaign helping her to retire her campaign's debt."

"Ms. Clinton is staying in the race to ensure that Obama will give her a prestigious place in his administration."

"Mr. Obama's campaign is working on recruiting Ms. Clinton's top fundraisers."

"Ms. Clinton said that she is open to being Barack Obama's running mate."

While few but Ms. Clinton herself could truthfully answer these questions, speculations will, no doubt, continue until she calls it quits.

And with John McCain not having had much to do in the past several months other than raise money and not spend it, there is certainly something to be said for the Democratic party finally coming together to support a candidate, not two.

But all three campaigns have certainly enlightened much of America, if not the world, to the inner workings of American presidential politics - whether we wanted to hear it or not.

And if all this talk of elections has got you down, laugh it off with the Capitol Steps' hilarious musical satire at www.capsteps.com!

Finally, in local news, go vote in Palo Alto's elections tonight!

Update: Barack Obama claimed the Democratic nomination tonight in St. Paul, Minnesota, becoming the first major party black candidate in American history.

STAR TESTING: PART II

They're back again.

The dreaded, terrible, disgusting, epitome-of-the-absolute- demise-of-American- school-systems STAR tests. The mere name is so dastardly it demands all capitals.

And with them come the exemption letters from parents, the new rules dictating a required minimum score for AP participation, and the simplistic, almost insulting test questions.

Here's a little sample of what millions of students around California have had to put up with in the past few weeks.

"You are going to take a test that will assess what you have learned. Some questions will be easy and some will be harder. Don't worry about the ones that seem hard, just do your best and don't spend too much time on any one question.

Before you begin, please mark your ethnicity in the bubbles below.
o Asian
o Pacific Islander
o African American
o Hispanic
o White

Ready? Begin.

Read the sentence.
"And with them come the exemption letters from parents, the new rules dictating a required minimum score for AP participation, and the simplistic, almost insulting test questions."

What is the best way to rewrite the above sentence?
A) The STAR tests bring a barrage of letters, rules, and insulting test questions.
B) Exemption for come with them almost students and, future letters insulting.
C) Future AP students must now score a minimum of "Proficient" on the STAR tests, which by the way make parents write angry letters and insult students with stupid questions.
D) STAR tests are bad.

The following question is not related to a reading.

Which of the socially unjust institutions related to STAR testing is the worst? (Yes, there is a right answer.)
A) Making students who will be in college in a few years read about why the mother of the author decided to try and replicate her great-grandfather's recipe for a mint snowball.
B) Asking students who will be in college in a few years whether the word "volcano" comes from the name of the ancient fire god "Pele", "Hephaestus", or "Vulcan".
C) George Bush's decision to pass the NCLB (also known as nicklebee or, for those who can't spell but are creative when it comes to acronyms, NLotBC - Nothing Learned (or taught) By Choice)
D) The fact that there is SO much more one could do with their time than try to decide which circle with a little letter in it to color in.

STOP.

You still have an hour and a half left in your testing time.

You may not use a cell phone, iPod, or any other electronic device.

Your results will be mailed to you by next spring. Of course, these results really mean nothing because a) by next spring you won't care anymore, if you ever did in the first place, and b) if your school was really going to be closed because of atrocious test scores, it wouldn't matter what your score was anyway.

I think the quote that bests sums up standardized testing was uttered by President Bush. In a speech at Townsend Elementary School in Tennessee, he said quite simply,

"You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."

Enough said.

Politics: When enough is enough

"Clinton Pledges to Fight On Despite Split Primary Result."
"Obama picks up superdelegates; undecideds moving his way."
"Clinton vows to press on as time, options running out."

These are just a few of the headlines from today's top AP stories. As the wills (and egos) of the candidates battle on without an end in sight, New York Times reporters must be finding it difficult to make their four-articles-per-day quota.

As the primary campaigns head into the summer home stretch, even diehard fans and politicos are beginning to wilt. "I was really excited at the beginning of the campaigns," said one Paly teacher. "But now, it's almost like I don't even care anymore."

Sure, all the buzz about Jeremiah Wright and Bill Clinton and the name-calling between candidates was fun for a while. I love a good debate as much as the next person. But after all the same scandals were discussed and all the same names were called, the market for new political information got thin - and now it's getting to the point where I'm tired of hearing our two favorite candidates bash each other with the same old hammers.

Of course, if most of the two Democratic candidates' faults are displayed to the public (and republicans) during the primary season, it could make for a less gruesome (or at least less shocking) general election in November.

And speaking of red elephants across the aisle, John McCain will be in Atherton on May 22. The event - and indeed, the candidate himself - have been receiving remarkably little press in the past month. We can only assume Mr. McCain is biding his time (and saving his money) for a harder general election campaign.

But on the whole, whether blue or red, the collective color of United States voters seems to be fading a little. I only hope the candidates still have the energy to inspire us into a darker shade of enthusiasm before November.

The Source, by James A Michener: If you read this, you don't have to read the book

In light of my recent adventures abroad, I have summarized my experience with a book review of a novel that fits my voyage to Greece and Israel quite nicely.

The Source
by James A. Michener

It may be difficult to imagine that a ten thousand year history of the Jewish faith could be a #1 bestseller. It may be even more surprising that such a book can grab and hold the attention of a high school student. And although the novel is not without its fair share of tedious passages, the overall “Da Vinci Code” style with which it presents its content is enthralling.

The entire book takes place on a tell (a raised mound of earth some 200 yards long and 71 feet tall) in what is now Northern Israel, near the ancient city of Akko. The 1964 archaeologic dig that begins the novel introduces the amazing quality of this specific site: at some point in time, pagans, Jews, Christians, and Muslims have each occupied this most desirable piece of real estate. What’s more, the tell has witnessed a good majority of the major historical events that have occurred in the Holy Land since 9843 BCE.

The chapters are organized in chronological order, beginning with the oldest and working their way up through history. Although the reverse method of ordering could have been more realistic (archaeologists move backward through time as they uncover new layers of civilization), this way is more logical for one reading the book forwards.

The story of each era is heralded by an archaeological find that indicates a way of life at that time in history. For instance, the first artifact, several sharpened flints used as a sickle for reaping grain, precede a narrative of the first cave dweller to intentionally plant wild grain in a location convenient for harvesting, thereby becoming one of the first farmers in history.

Each mini-novel is infused with familiar societal institutions: the oppression and distrust of women, the wild animal turned tame friend for a young girl, the father desperate for a strong son just like him. This literary device effectively draws the reader in by recounting recognizable traits of legend and modern society.

The author also draws parallels more obviously by interspersing the ancient tales with short chapters about the four main characters working on the dig. These snatches of modernity are mostly limited to the thoughts of one Dr. John Cullinane, the only Catholic working on the dig and, to a certain extent, our hero. His heroic stature is not determined by his faith; rather, by the way he strives to immerse himself in and completely understand the Jewish faith with a slightly unrealistic passion. For instance, he is the only of the four who attends synagogue (as well as church) on Shabbat; the two Jews refuse and the Muslim explains quite drolly, “I find that if I enter a local synagogue dressed in full Arab robes, bow toward Mecca and cry, “Allah is Allah and Muhammad is his Prophet,” I am apt to cause resentment.”

However, the idea that a single place can have been host to so many different civilizations is quite a real one. In Greece, I learned that the Parthenon, after being a temple for Greek pagan worship, acquired a golden dome in its capacity as a Muslim mosque, and later lost its roof entirely under Ottoman rule because a Venetian shell struck the building, which was at the time being used for gunpowder storage. And Caesarea, King Herod’s opulent Roman port and resort city in Northern Israel, became a Crusader town as the Europeans strove to control the Holy Land.

One of the reasons Judaism is unique is because, at least in more conservative synagogues, many of the ancient customs are adhered to. However, one of the themes this book explores is that this unwillingness to change with the times has caused some of Judaism’s former adherents to convert or just to stop practicing. Michener has done a masterful job of capturing both sides: Judaism’s stubborn traditions and its ancient beauty.

DESTINATION: SPRING BREAK

Sunwashed days in a Cancun resort, at the beach, in the pool, at cafes. Wild nights at crazy parties, dancing the night away to the sound of ocean surf. Midnight swims in hotel pools. Such is a typical Spring Break stereotype.

But is it true? Is it realistic? Where are Paly students REALLY going this March?

Exhibit A: Leadership Conference in San Jose. "It could have rained, snowed, hailed, or have been beautiful outside, I wouldn't know: we had to stay inside the hotel at all times."
Exhibit B: Brussels, Belgium and Oxford, England. "Right now it's two degrees above freezing."
Exhibit C: HAWAII!!! [No comment.]

As appealing as all these exotic locales may sound, Palo Alto's weather has been nothing to sneeze at in the past few days. Stubbornly sunny days should continue most of the week, with a slight chance of precipitation on Wednesday.

If you're looking for a pleasant lunch location to soak up some rays right here in Palo Alto, Stanford's Cantor Arts Museum has a great cafe that offers outdoor seating with plenty of sun.

Staying home doesn't have to be boring. Spring Break's a perfect time to shoot some hoops, practice guitar, or watch all those movies you never seem to have time to watch on weekends.

And if all this hasn't been enough and you still want to go to Cancun, let me know. I have connections.

The AP Question

"I'm taking APUSH next year."
"I'm sorry, are you suicidal?"
This exchange is an example of just a few of students' views on AP classes.

Should I sign up for AP Environmental Science? Is BC Calc AP really worth it? How many AP's should I take to impress colleges and yet maintain my basic human sanity?

Stanford says, "Always sign up from among the most challenging courses that excite you the most." On the other hand, "Do not feel pressured to take Honors or Advanced Placement courses just because they are Honors or Advanced Placement Courses."

The question of how much is too much is too often forgotten in the average overachiever's quest for college admissions. Five AP's per year is regarded as ridiculous; one is not challenging enough. The magic number must lie somewhere between.

Advanced Placement classes, according to CollegeBoard, help you "enter a universe of knowledge that might otherwise remain unexplored in high school" and AP exams give you "the opportunity to earn credit or advanced standing at most of the nation's colleges and universities." However, most of the students who take AP courses in high school do not plan to finish college early, as the original purpose dictates. Has an AP course become just another ruler by which colleges measure their prospective applicants? And above all, is the result worth the rigors?

Six Paly students shared their experiences.
A, a senior, took AP US History her junior year and AP's in all core subjects her senior year. She wrote a piece on the unreliability of college admissions for Verde (http://voice.paly.net/view_story.php?id=6146).

K, a senior, took one AP and one Honors class her junior year, and three AP's her senior year.

T, a senior, took one AP her junior year and three her senior year, but dropped one, leaving her with Spanish 5AP and AP Statistics in her schedule. "AP Stats is really different from the other math classes," she said, without saying it was harder or easier.

K, a junior, is taking no AP's this year, and expressed incredulity when I told her I planned on taking four my junior year.

E, a senior, took two AP's as a junior and four as a senior. A prospective Political Science major who recently interviewed for Brown, he manipulated his schedule to take multiple social studies classes his sophomore year "to make colleges see that I'm serious about the subject." In other areas, however, he did not plan quite as well. "Believe me, you do not want to take Living Skills your senior year," he said, referring to the traditionally sophomore-dominated class that includes First Aid training, among other "life skills."

M, a senior headed to Stanford for track, took two AP's her junior year and three her senior year. She also holds the school track record in the 400 and 800m.

Paly, a demanding school in itself, offers a wide array of honors and advanced placement classes, making it possible to sign up for an all-AP schedule of 7 classes in 12th grade, provided one has completed the prerequisites.

Favorite AP Environmental Science is looked upon as a less stressful AP, but requires a year of Physics. Senior A described the AP College English teacher as "crazy," but laughed as she said it. An endless combination of social studies electives begins with AP US History (dubbed "A-PUSH" by students) in junior year, and culminates, some would say, in AP Psychology, a class exclusively for seniors. And then there is the KING OF ALL AP CLASSES: BC Calculus AP. A Stanford engineering professor, whose child took the class, reportedly said it was excruciatingly and unnecessarily painful.

Of course, the moral of the story ought to be that it doesn't matter how many AP's you take if you do what you love. And to a certain degree, this is true; take senior M as proof. However, it is also true that colleges love to see you focusing on a challenging class in a subject about which you are passionate.

So, sign up for as many AP classes as you think you can handle, but take them with a pinch of realistic expectations, self-awareness, and - oh yeah - salt.

Palo Alto Theater Gets a Little Drama

The set: Palo Alto. The scene: Children's Theater. Picture this: some cash goes missing. Then a video camera. Next to go is some "hard to find" equipment. Who is behind it? No one can say.

What happens? An anonymous person calls the police, who storm in, evacuate the building, place the four employees on paid leave, and promise to investigate while providing insubstantial "reports" on their actions to the public. Subplot: three of these four employees are union workers. What do the police do? They forbid the union members to talk to the union president. Subsubplot: one of these union workers is currently in the hospital dying of stomach cancer.

With Hollywood writers on strike, I think we might just have a blockbuster here.

This drama, of course, revolves around the shutdown of the Palo Alto Children's Theater.

Who called the police? Unknown to public. Why did the person call the police if they suspected inside theft instead of disciplining the suspects (as would any company with suspicions of employee misbehavior)? Unknown to anyone. What are the police really doing? Unknown to public. And what would theater staff be doing with a bunch of video and audio equipment?

Planning their comeback by making a music video, probably.

The two main directors, both long LONG time employees of the Children's Theater, are city employees. This means the city finances the Children's Theater even though it only makes a fraction of what it spends. However, when it comes to accountability, who is the boss of these two veteran directors? This is the question.

The Friends of the Children's Theater provides additional financial support to buy "extras" that are out of the $1 million annual budget. They are not financially responsible for the theater nor do they have any control over the theater management. They don't even see spending records.

If you understand all this, explain it to me.

As will happen with a scandal, there are those who accuse the police and the city of destroying the reputations of four honorable citizens. To a certain degree, it's a valid point. If there is no definitive evidence, what are the police hoping to find? A document saying, "I took the video camera?" And if there is definitive evidence, why are the police keeping so quiet about it?

Of course, there are also those who believe it's about time for some new blood; directors who don't insist upon a Jordan outreach show being performed to a CD instead of live music. (i.e. younger people who aren't quite so controlling and resistant to change.)

All you need now to nicely round out the plot is the sister of the box office worker secretly being in love with the former husband of the theater director, who coincidentally overheard some illegal dealings between the costume designer and her fiance, who is actually planning to escape to Swaziland by the next boat to cover up his 14 jail terms before the day of the wedding is set.

But hey! That's drama.

Update: Well-known long-time director Michael Litfin died of cancer on Friday, February 1. A celebration of his life will be held at the Childrens' Theatre on February 17.

Lunch Crisis!

Let me tell you, lugging a 12-pound softball bag to school every day for a week is nobody's idea of fun. Especially when the load is accompanied by a 46 pound backpack, a small lunch bag, and exhausted shoulders from lobbing softballs for two hours after school.

So is it any wonder that I sought to consolidate by tucking my lunch in with my cleats and glove? Of course, you respond. It's perfectly sensible. However, when one forgets to take the lunch out of the bag when one leaves it in a certain PE teacher's office to be collected at 3pm, the plot thickens.

No matter, though. I begged a few friends to accompany me on the cross-campus trek to retrieve my wayward lunch. It was then that disaster struck. The door was locked! Now I was stuck on a Tuesday without a lunch right before a math quiz.

Having coerced a senior into buying me a decaf mocha during 4th per, I was not absolutely starving, but the fact remained: I needed food. And unfortunately, given the time, the only food available was - *gasp* - that's right. Cafeteria food.

I told myself it would be OK. I could get some overpriced, substandard, but filling Chinese food (orange chicken, I believe it was) and not collapse from exhaustion.

Then, it happened again. "Sorry, we're out of chicken."

I cringed, not believing I could sink this low. "Can I have...a...pepperoni...pizza?" I choked. Five second later, IT landed in front of me.

The cheese was mangled, displaying the thin layer of once frozen tomato sauce. The crust was puffy, belying the insubstantial air bubbles beneath the surface. When I turned IT over, the bottom crust had the consistency of an uncooked shortbread cookie full of partially hydrogenated soybean oil. (Fun, huh?)

I took a bite. It was greasy and disgusting, but I didn't collapse in math.

I guess we must all be thankful for the small things in life. Like not being poisoned by cafeteria food. Really puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Freshman Finals!!!

"Wow. This is the first time you guys have ever taken real finals."

This ominous quote was uttered by a particularly observant senior to a class of freshmen on the first day of official first semester finals. Needless to say, it did not calm my nerves as I anticipated the horrors to come.

Luckily, my first "final" consisted of watching a movie. Thanks to the first-per. teacher who knows what's important in life! (If anyone wants to snag this class for next year, it's Video Production.) Unfortunately, this film turned out to be possibly the most depressing piece of footage I have ever viewed. SPOILER WARNING. PLOT DETAILS FOLLOW. In a nutshell: A pair of sarcastic just-graduated high school misfits, (Scarlett Johansson and Thora Birch) decide not to go to college. The dark-haired one falls in love with another misfit guy 12 years older than her after helping him get a girlfriend in the first place. Her best friend, both concerned and annoyed at the amount of time Enid spends with her new "friend," grows farther and farther away from Enid. Eventually, Enid loses a college scholarship and her boyfriend, and, her life ruined, is seen boarding a bus to - we never find out. Exactly the movie that leaves you pumped up and ready to spend two hours taking a science final.

After a leisurely half hour spent with friends frantically recounting study habits and speculating on just how much the teachers would delight in giving us all F's when we failed each and every test (as we were all positive we would), I crossed the quad with two friends to the first hurdle.

Freshman biology is a relatively easy class, but of course I overstressed and overstudied for a final comprised of all previous test questions. Unless one didn't study, has amnesia, or possesses a particular aversion to paramecium, the final was not difficult. Accurate stress factor: 4 out of 10.

As the Supreme Dictator of All Finals (that would be math) was scheduled for Thursday, Wednesday night was spent somewhat like this: worry. study old quizzes. fret. study old quizzes. freak out. calm down. study review sheet. study social studies to take my mind off it. firmly tell myself that I have to study if I want a good grade. study everything. Reason that I've been studying for a week, so I have nothing to worry about. Remind myself that overconfidence is the pitfall of all test-takers. (I just made that up, but it sounded genuine at the time.)

I don't even remember what the weather was like on Thursday. Because my English final was all vocab, I breezed through that final and set my sights on the goal. (2/10.) As soon as I walked into the math classroom, I could tell something was out of the ordinary. (Besides the fact that my entire college and after-college career was to be decided in that very room, I mean.) (By the way, that was a joke. I am not actually that overly anxious.) Rearranged desks always put a feeling of unease in the air, but the multiple choice went all right. All in all, I was only worried about one proof and one algebra problem when the test was over. (9/10.) Exhausted, I thanked the Supreme Being of Schedule Making that I had PE next and could unwind by watching another movie - this time it was one of the "stupid", not the "depressing" genre. Oh well. (0/10).

About French, what can I say? Only that a certain celebrity whose first name resembles that of the capital city of said country could probably get an A on it. This was due in part to the fact that the students wrote the final questions. The only remotely challenging section was that of culture. (a.k.a. In Mahgreb (Francophone North Africa), do they praise the Lord for their food before or after the meal?) I was thankful for this respite from "killer" finals and used the extra study time to study for social studies. (1.5/10.)

After having heard from multiple people that a lot of the questions centered on the Enlightement, I brushed up on my philosophers and had a good time trying to remember why Phillip II declared war on Queen Elizabeth I. (Maybe he thought he could beat her because he had a greater number after his name.) (6/10).

All in all, most of my finals were not hard. Some even bordered on - dare I say it? - easy. Math was about as hard as I'd expected, and the rest were easier than I expected.

Congratulations to all on surviving the week! And for those who are sad finals are over (you know who you are), there's always Spring finals!

New Year's Resolutions: A Study in Societal Impact

New years' resolutions, just like school rules (some would argue) are made to be broken. A firm "I will start studying for tests three days in advance", seeming a perfectly achievable goal during those relaxing days of Winter Break almost always dissolves after the first test, especially if the result was not ideal.

The categories of resolutions have been fairly standard this year. Present was the academic resolution (from a freshman: "I will stop procrastinating - doing homework in the morning is not a good idea.") The athletic goal made an appearance as well (from a freshman: "I want to make CCS."). And then there's the "aspirational resolution" - a resolution regarding an ability over which one doesn't actually have much control, which, technically, brands it a wish. (From a freshman: "To be able to see my true friends and never let them go.") Of course, if one fails to acquire this ability, there's always the safeguard that "it wasn't really a resolution." Milestones to be achieved through work are easy to make and easy to break. However, they also provide a high level of satisfaction. A sophomore from Mexico emphasized the opportunity to turn over a new leaf ("I'll try to erase my mistakes and start all over, be a better person and not fight with my sister.") A respectable but, again, difficult resolution to follow through on is "to be nice to people I don't like" (from a freshman).

But, taking a close look, what really is New Year's? The only reason January starts on this day and not on May 23 is because of Pope Gregory XIII, who decreed in a papal bull that this reformed version of Julius Caesar's calendar would be the norm. (Ironically, he decreed this on February 24, not at New Year's.) As put by a Jordan eighth-grader, "Every day is a new year, from that day one year ago." Why do we set so much store by this particular day? The answer is the same as the reason why celebrities are famous: we decide what events, things, and people are important. If we all decided not to buy movie and concert tickets, never watch TV shows, never Google celebrities, and generally ignore them, their status would disappear. A celebrity, by definition, must be famous. So if we decided to make the year start on July 4th, our year would start on July 4th, no questions asked (well, there would be some questions, but it would catch on eventually).

A new year, whatever its real societal significance, does give people hope for new ways, new promises, and renewed appreciation for life because people so designate it. Plus, it gives us all an excuse to sit around and drink Martinelli's.