Lunch Crisis!

Let me tell you, lugging a 12-pound softball bag to school every day for a week is nobody's idea of fun. Especially when the load is accompanied by a 46 pound backpack, a small lunch bag, and exhausted shoulders from lobbing softballs for two hours after school.

So is it any wonder that I sought to consolidate by tucking my lunch in with my cleats and glove? Of course, you respond. It's perfectly sensible. However, when one forgets to take the lunch out of the bag when one leaves it in a certain PE teacher's office to be collected at 3pm, the plot thickens.

No matter, though. I begged a few friends to accompany me on the cross-campus trek to retrieve my wayward lunch. It was then that disaster struck. The door was locked! Now I was stuck on a Tuesday without a lunch right before a math quiz.

Having coerced a senior into buying me a decaf mocha during 4th per, I was not absolutely starving, but the fact remained: I needed food. And unfortunately, given the time, the only food available was - *gasp* - that's right. Cafeteria food.

I told myself it would be OK. I could get some overpriced, substandard, but filling Chinese food (orange chicken, I believe it was) and not collapse from exhaustion.

Then, it happened again. "Sorry, we're out of chicken."

I cringed, not believing I could sink this low. "Can I have...a...pepperoni...pizza?" I choked. Five second later, IT landed in front of me.

The cheese was mangled, displaying the thin layer of once frozen tomato sauce. The crust was puffy, belying the insubstantial air bubbles beneath the surface. When I turned IT over, the bottom crust had the consistency of an uncooked shortbread cookie full of partially hydrogenated soybean oil. (Fun, huh?)

I took a bite. It was greasy and disgusting, but I didn't collapse in math.

I guess we must all be thankful for the small things in life. Like not being poisoned by cafeteria food. Really puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Freshman Finals!!!

"Wow. This is the first time you guys have ever taken real finals."

This ominous quote was uttered by a particularly observant senior to a class of freshmen on the first day of official first semester finals. Needless to say, it did not calm my nerves as I anticipated the horrors to come.

Luckily, my first "final" consisted of watching a movie. Thanks to the first-per. teacher who knows what's important in life! (If anyone wants to snag this class for next year, it's Video Production.) Unfortunately, this film turned out to be possibly the most depressing piece of footage I have ever viewed. SPOILER WARNING. PLOT DETAILS FOLLOW. In a nutshell: A pair of sarcastic just-graduated high school misfits, (Scarlett Johansson and Thora Birch) decide not to go to college. The dark-haired one falls in love with another misfit guy 12 years older than her after helping him get a girlfriend in the first place. Her best friend, both concerned and annoyed at the amount of time Enid spends with her new "friend," grows farther and farther away from Enid. Eventually, Enid loses a college scholarship and her boyfriend, and, her life ruined, is seen boarding a bus to - we never find out. Exactly the movie that leaves you pumped up and ready to spend two hours taking a science final.

After a leisurely half hour spent with friends frantically recounting study habits and speculating on just how much the teachers would delight in giving us all F's when we failed each and every test (as we were all positive we would), I crossed the quad with two friends to the first hurdle.

Freshman biology is a relatively easy class, but of course I overstressed and overstudied for a final comprised of all previous test questions. Unless one didn't study, has amnesia, or possesses a particular aversion to paramecium, the final was not difficult. Accurate stress factor: 4 out of 10.

As the Supreme Dictator of All Finals (that would be math) was scheduled for Thursday, Wednesday night was spent somewhat like this: worry. study old quizzes. fret. study old quizzes. freak out. calm down. study review sheet. study social studies to take my mind off it. firmly tell myself that I have to study if I want a good grade. study everything. Reason that I've been studying for a week, so I have nothing to worry about. Remind myself that overconfidence is the pitfall of all test-takers. (I just made that up, but it sounded genuine at the time.)

I don't even remember what the weather was like on Thursday. Because my English final was all vocab, I breezed through that final and set my sights on the goal. (2/10.) As soon as I walked into the math classroom, I could tell something was out of the ordinary. (Besides the fact that my entire college and after-college career was to be decided in that very room, I mean.) (By the way, that was a joke. I am not actually that overly anxious.) Rearranged desks always put a feeling of unease in the air, but the multiple choice went all right. All in all, I was only worried about one proof and one algebra problem when the test was over. (9/10.) Exhausted, I thanked the Supreme Being of Schedule Making that I had PE next and could unwind by watching another movie - this time it was one of the "stupid", not the "depressing" genre. Oh well. (0/10).

About French, what can I say? Only that a certain celebrity whose first name resembles that of the capital city of said country could probably get an A on it. This was due in part to the fact that the students wrote the final questions. The only remotely challenging section was that of culture. (a.k.a. In Mahgreb (Francophone North Africa), do they praise the Lord for their food before or after the meal?) I was thankful for this respite from "killer" finals and used the extra study time to study for social studies. (1.5/10.)

After having heard from multiple people that a lot of the questions centered on the Enlightement, I brushed up on my philosophers and had a good time trying to remember why Phillip II declared war on Queen Elizabeth I. (Maybe he thought he could beat her because he had a greater number after his name.) (6/10).

All in all, most of my finals were not hard. Some even bordered on - dare I say it? - easy. Math was about as hard as I'd expected, and the rest were easier than I expected.

Congratulations to all on surviving the week! And for those who are sad finals are over (you know who you are), there's always Spring finals!

New Year's Resolutions: A Study in Societal Impact

New years' resolutions, just like school rules (some would argue) are made to be broken. A firm "I will start studying for tests three days in advance", seeming a perfectly achievable goal during those relaxing days of Winter Break almost always dissolves after the first test, especially if the result was not ideal.

The categories of resolutions have been fairly standard this year. Present was the academic resolution (from a freshman: "I will stop procrastinating - doing homework in the morning is not a good idea.") The athletic goal made an appearance as well (from a freshman: "I want to make CCS."). And then there's the "aspirational resolution" - a resolution regarding an ability over which one doesn't actually have much control, which, technically, brands it a wish. (From a freshman: "To be able to see my true friends and never let them go.") Of course, if one fails to acquire this ability, there's always the safeguard that "it wasn't really a resolution." Milestones to be achieved through work are easy to make and easy to break. However, they also provide a high level of satisfaction. A sophomore from Mexico emphasized the opportunity to turn over a new leaf ("I'll try to erase my mistakes and start all over, be a better person and not fight with my sister.") A respectable but, again, difficult resolution to follow through on is "to be nice to people I don't like" (from a freshman).

But, taking a close look, what really is New Year's? The only reason January starts on this day and not on May 23 is because of Pope Gregory XIII, who decreed in a papal bull that this reformed version of Julius Caesar's calendar would be the norm. (Ironically, he decreed this on February 24, not at New Year's.) As put by a Jordan eighth-grader, "Every day is a new year, from that day one year ago." Why do we set so much store by this particular day? The answer is the same as the reason why celebrities are famous: we decide what events, things, and people are important. If we all decided not to buy movie and concert tickets, never watch TV shows, never Google celebrities, and generally ignore them, their status would disappear. A celebrity, by definition, must be famous. So if we decided to make the year start on July 4th, our year would start on July 4th, no questions asked (well, there would be some questions, but it would catch on eventually).

A new year, whatever its real societal significance, does give people hope for new ways, new promises, and renewed appreciation for life because people so designate it. Plus, it gives us all an excuse to sit around and drink Martinelli's.

Other: The Problem with Standardized Ethnicities

We can all agree that the STAR tests have many faults, but one glaring issue that is usually overlooked is that of the choices included in the “Ethnicity” section of the bubble-test. “American Indian” always tops the list – perhaps it’s our idea of compensation for the mass genocide in the 1600’s. “Hispanic” is followed by several variations of “Pacific Islander,” then “Asian”, “African American”, and finally, “White or Caucasian”.

Although I consider myself a diverse and well-rounded as well as culturally sensitive individual, I always feel guilty marking “White,” as if it’s my fault that my grandparents were not Haitian. * sigh. * That’s life.

But what of the cultures completely omitted in this by-no-means comprehensive list of “acceptable” ethnicities? Indians (that is, those from the country of India), are nowhere to be found. Are they “Asian?” Doesn’t that imply almond shaped eyes, tan skin, and an exceptionally high math IQ? (I don’t actually stereotype “Asian” this way; the statement is for the sake of argument.) What could be the cause of this discrepancy?

To answer this question, we must first ask ourselves, “What is the purpose of the STAR testing masterminds knowing whether our skin is white, black, or purple?” An executive answer would probably come close to “In order to improve the test through enhanced data collection and ensure that all races have an equal opportunity to succeed.” In other words, so that they can quote the exact percentage of Pacific Islanders who scored above average on the STAR test, thereby proving that “Americans really aren’t prejudiced!”

What would a person whose mother is African American and whose father is Mexican bubble in? What if her grandmother was born in Spain? What if her great-uncle was born a native of Australia (of Aboriginal descent)? Is Spain “Hispanic”? If her grandmother was from Spain but her aunt was born in Florida, does that make her aunt American?

Although an individual might not think this deeply which black and white bubble to fill in during a week where teachers don’t give homework, the STAR test does, in essence, force participants to either categorize their identity or to abstain from answering the question (which, in reality, rarely anybody does). While for some it may be simple, for others it shoves the potentially touchy issue of their heritage right in their faces.

STAR tests are designed to categorize. They sort out students into types, making it easy for the analysts to throw together some numbers that supposedly represent the entire American population under the age of 18. STAR tests: progress reports, or offensive identity sorters? Only you can decide.

45 degrees: The Homecoming Dance

A mass of humans, some wearing animal prints, moving strangely under the revolving flashes of light. The concentration of bodies seems to increase closer to the far end of the room, where a man with headphones on flicks and pushes hundreds of buttons and switches. Other attendees sitting in tables at the back of the room, some playing cards. One lone reporter, watching it all happen.

No, this scene is not from a bad science fiction movie. It's Paly. It's the homecoming dance.

Contrary to popular rumors, parent chaperones did not carry protractors with them as they prowled the dance floor, searching for violators of the "45 degree rule." In fact, most of them expressed indifference when asked about the new dance policy. "We were invited to watch the video," said one adult, referring to the two minute clip playing on a continuous loop just outside the gym. The short movie explained acceptable versus inappropriate dance behavior, but only enforced what the text of the policy states (you may not bend forwards at an angle of more than 45 degrees, you may not dance in a way that is unreasonably explicit). One chaperone said disparagingly, "There are so many more important things to pay attention to," suggesting that the administration could be wasting its time implementing and enforcing rules about the way students can dance.

Far more interesting were the reactions of students when informed that their parent would be a chaperone. "My daughter was almost in tears," replied an adult near the coatroom. Although it is undoubtedly embarrassing to see your mother at a dance, one might wonder precisely what the student had planned on doing so that she was so upset.

No extreme violations of school policy presented themselves, however. "There was one girl whose mother would not have been happy," reported a chaperone, recounting an incident of a "sandwich." The penalty is also not so severe as had been rumored. "I shone my flashlight twice on [this girl], but it wasn't really bad." Reports of alcohol use were also few. "One girl looked like she might have been under the influence, so another chaperone made sure she was okay."

This account contradicts the presence of two or three policemen at the dance. When asked why they were there, they replied, "some kids have been drinking." The cops walked around in the bleachers, surveying the scene below. Later, as the dance ended, they moved outside. "This is our first time here," said one. Perhaps some additional precautions have been put in place after all.

The Winter Formal will undoubtedly have a different atmosphere, and the circumstances regarding strictness remain to be seen. Stay tuned for the next article!

Lost Cell Phone Results in "Airport Security" at Paly

In light of the recent "punknastying" segment on InFocus, it seems that students are not the only ones who feel free to literally turn others' backpacks inside out.

According to a 7th per. art student, Paly's vice principal arrived in the classroom to conduct a backpack search of everyone in the room after one student mentioned that he "lost his cell phone." The alarm was uttered half-way through the period. That, and the fact that the cell phone did not ring when called seemed to convince the teacher that the cell phone was stolen and not merely misplaced.

Again, in the words of this student, the teacher forbade anyone from leaving the room and called the vice principal. When the vice principal arrived on a golf cart, he and the driver of the cart searched the backpacks of every single student in the room.

Although the search of student possessions is legal according to the Constitution and Supreme Court, rules regarding reasonableness, excessive intrusion, and relativity to the specific suspected offense apply. Far more troubling were the reported parting words of the vice principal: "I didn't catch you this time, but you can be sure that I'll catch you doing something wrong sometime" [or equivalent: exact quote unavailable].

The student questioned the judgment of the teacher for so quickly calling the administration and the administration for dropping whatever it was doing at the time for the purpose of finding one student's lost cell phone. One would hope that a lost cell phone would be the greatest of the school's worries, but, of course, this is not the case. For instance, the high school task force has concluded that building another high school for the purpose of accommodating the steady increase of student enrollment is not realistic. Therefore, the task force says, schools should work on enhancing and enlarging their existing facilities and programs. This, surely, is one of Paly's concerns that deserves far more attention.

The author does not seek to criticize the administration, merely to comment on and encourage slightly better use of the administration's time. From the administration's point of view, it is understandable that in Palo Alto, the number of parents prepared to sue for circumstances just as trivial as a lost cell phone is quite high. Consequently, the actions of the school taken to recover lost property might be understandable. Also, our new principal may feel the need to come down hard on theft (real or alleged) and to make it clear that no stealing will be tolerated.

As a student, I hope there will be no veritable violations of student rights with regard to search and seizure. However, if you want to contribute to the prevention of these violations (and ensure that your classmates won't hunt you down after class for sinister purposes), hold onto your cell phones!

UPDATE: The student found his phone behind some paintings. He does believe that it was stolen, but that perhaps the culprit tossed the phone away to avoid incrimination. "Somebody probably just threw it back there," he shrugged.

Paly Profile: Accomplished Music Artist

While some Paly students still cherish dreams of musical stardom, Molly Tuttle has been there, done that. Well, partly.

Molly's first album, "The Old Apple Tree," was released onto iTunes last April. It features country songs with vocals and guitar by Molly and her dad.

"I never really wanted to be a rock star or anything," Molly said. "I just started playing guitar when I was eight."

Since then, Molly has played and sang at talent shows, music festivals, and her eighth grade graduation. Just last week she performed at the Tennessee International Bluegrass Music Association festival.

A shy person by nature, Molly says she doesn't get stage fright - anymore. "When I was first starting, I did," she admitted. "But now, not so much."

Molly's father, Jack Tuttle, the main force behind her musical career, teaches bluegrass violin and is also featured on the album on violin and vocals. "We recorded "The Old Apple Tree" in our backyard studio," said Molly. "It used to be a shed, then it was my dad's office, but now it's got microphones and stuff in it."

So, can anyone put an album on iTunes? "Yeah, basically," said Molly. "You record the album and you call them and tell them you want it on iTunes." The company that does this is called TuneCore (www.tunecore.com).

When asked, "Is another album on the way?" Molly laughed. "Probably not, at least for awhile," she said. "It was a big project!"