Spotlight: My Hero

The first sentence of my script was, "The name Desmond Tutu resonates richly with people all across the world," but I could guarantee that 90% of the 7,000 high school students assembled in the field house of the University of Maryland had no idea who the guy was.

If you are included in that 90%, let me be the first to tell you that Desmond Tutu is an archbishop from Cape Town, South Africa, 77 years old, and one of the most adorable people I have ever met.

But the man is more than his lovable name. As a vigorously anti-apartheid activist and an Anglican Archbishop emeritus, Tutu is incredibly knowledgeable on issues ranging far and wide, from the current Gaza conflict and the Vietnam War to what Mary said when the archangel Gabriel told her that she would bear God's son. 

Tutu was ordained to the priesthood in Johannesburg. In 1978, he left his post as Bishop of Lesotho to become the new General Secretary of the South African Council of Churches. This was the position from which he led a formidable movement for justice and racial reconciliation in South Africa. His tireless work was fully recognized in 1984, when he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. In 1996, President Nelson Mandela appointed Tutu to chair the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the association set up to investigate human rights violations during apartheid. Since 1998, Tutu has been a visiting professor at several overseas universities and has published several books, the most recent of which is entitled God Has A Dream.

Right before I stepped onstage to introduce him, I grabbed a pen and burst out, "CanIpleasehaveyourautographplease?" He smiled obligingly, gently took the pen, and wrote on the back of my speech, "God bless you. Desmond." I can tell you, I nearly melted.

Tutu is a spectacularly charismatic speaker with calm amiability and warm South African accent that immediately puts people at ease. He connects with crowds artfully and quotes scripture effortlessly. He spoke about how, again and again, God chose young people to be, as he put it, "God's collaborators," citing examples like Jeremiah (a prophet), Francis of Assisi (founder of the Franciscan friars), and, of course, Mary (Jesus's mother). 

And yet, the strict and uptight manner one might expect from one who has spent nearly his whole life in the clergy is just not there. At one point, Tutu, assuming both roles in a conversation between God and Jeremiah, said, "Jeremiah, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." Jeremiah responds, "Oh, God. You don't seem to know very much about human biology." 

Desmond Tutu is one of those rare souls who radiates pure and simple joy to all those around him. Indeed, Tutu exemplifies the ideal religious leader: one who is at once deeply pious, inspirational, wholly morally upright, and a true advocate and activist for peace.

He stepped off the stage to a thunderous standing ovation. 90% of the people had just learned who Desmond Tutu was, and 100% loved him.

Everyone's Favorite Topic

Ahhh. That wonderful Winter Break rhythm.

10AM: Roll out of bed wrapped in a soft blanket with fuzzy slippers.

10:15AM: Eat breakfast.

10:30AM: Laze around, go on Facebook, speculate on prospective holiday gifts.

12:00PM: Eat lunch.

12:15PM: Maybe go to a friend's house. Maybe go ice skating. Nah. Too much work.

6:00PM: Eat dinner.

7:30PM: Option A: Open a Hanukkah present, play dreidel, and eat chocolate gelt (the ones made in Israel, not China, because Chinese gelt has melamine in it)

Option B: Check Facebook. Speculate on prospective holiday gifts. Then watch a movie.

12AM: Go to bed. Unless you're at a party. In that case:

3AM: Stumble into bed.

So, obviously, the one and only subject that everyone wants to think about right now is FINALS, right?

Congratulations to those of you have already taken (and hopefully passed) those dreaded exams. Unfortunately, all we Paly kids have yet to partake in this infamous institution of higher education.

Several experts sounded off on whether the administrative decision to have Winter Break preceed finals is doing any favors for GPAs. And by experts, I do not mean the school administration (although they do perform the crucial functions of legislating, enforcin

g, AND interpreting school policy), nor do I mean those parents who remember exactly what it was like to be a high school student at finals time.

I mean us. We, the students, have spoken. And here is what we said.

So there you have it. The raw facts. This is straight talk, everyone.

Now that that's all over with, go out and have a stupendous, fantastic, fabulous, (relaxing), WINTER BREAK!

Winter Migratory Habits of the Palalius Studentis

Palalius studentis

common in Western Coastal suburban environments, usually in communities proximal to prestigious universities

12/18/08

Startling new evidence has come to light that the migratory habits of the Palalius studentis are evolving and changing, as published in a recent study. More and more of these rare creatures are resisting their innate urge to embark upon a ritual and traditional migration during the approximately 2-3 week period before the Great Study Session, which precedes the tribal evaluations that mark the Semesterial End of Academic Cognitiation at the Tribal Academy.

Several members of the species, using a combination of sign language and grunts, were able to convey their own feelings on the subject of migration and whether or not they will be performing this sacred ritual. 

NOTE: Translations may be slightly irregular due to the bulk of research having been performed in Kazakhstan.

Specimen 1, age 17: We will linger within our cottage and merely journey out of doors to locations that rest near at hand.

Specimen 2, age 15: I betake of myself to Beirut which is conveniently situated inside the sovereign state of Lebanon.

Specimen 3, age 14: I will not venture to a foreign clime, but rather reside directly in this spot.

Specimen 4, age 14: Los Angeles. (English: the village where habit the divine messengers and also the VIPs)

Specimen 5, from a neighboring tribe, age 16: Whilst at present I exist lodged in the interior of Oregon, I forsee myself proceeding into the zone encircling this city of the Sacred Mento. The reason I forsee myself voyaging to this location is owing to the fact that it is populated by my granny.

[Seventeen more specimens were interviewed, but they were unable to coherently answer interview question. Several became violent and began uprooting trees and flinging nearby objects at our researchers. It was concluded by the Kazakhstan lab team that this clearly signified that the specimens were in fact staying in their village during the winter months.]

Experts are worried by the implications of this extreme shift in what appeared to be a static societal institution in the classic hierarchy of this civilization. Several even went as far as to question the credibility of the data. However, Dr. Onevorschkiyeviblinsk, the head researcher in the Kazakhstan lab, has assured his fellow scientists that there could not possibly have been any discrepancies in the data collection processes nor in the subsequent translations that yielded the final conclusions, nor were any Palalius studentis specimens harmed in the research performed.

- Dmitri Gulyible, Kazakhstan News Service

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is bittersweet this year.

My thoughts are with the victims of terrorist attacks carried out yesterday on a hotel in Mumbai. The weather's a little gloomy. Piracy is still apparently rampant on the high seas; at least in Somalia. Jon Stewart won't have any new material until December 1. And the economy - well, you know.

But on the sweet side, we don't have school until Monday, I'm about to go stuff myself with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, three kinds of pie and four kinds of popcorn, I'm going to see Twilight with my friends this weekend, Ms. Sarah Palin is staying where she belongs in Alaska (so far), and we have an incredible new administration ready and waiting to get in there and start FIXING things.

I invite you to post your Thanksgiving thoughts, wishes, hopes, comments, shoutouts, admonitions, or anything else that happens to be going through your head on this wonderful autumn day.

Have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

PYIC Attendees: Watch and Vote!

These are the issues our country has to face. Can we fix them?

**If you're going to the Presidential Youth Inaugural Conference this January, vote for this video! 

GO HERE TO VOTE!!!!**

Homecoming '08!

"Dance moves" is an oxymoronic phrase at Paly dances. Students are squished together so tightly on the floor of the gym that there's barely room to move enough to convince the parent chaperones that you are alive; I don't know how they expect to discern which dancers may have been under the influence.

Speaking of which, I almost failed my breathalyzer test. Not because I'd been drinking, but because I kept blowing incorrectly. The kind breathalyzer lady told me to blow into the funnel on the end of the air-horn shaped device just like I would if I was blowing out birthday candles. I blew. She was silent.

Oh my God, am I going to test positive for alcohol? Did the breath mint I just had somehow set off the trigger? I wasn't drinking, I swear it!

She peered at the air horn. "Blow harder," she said. I did.

She sighed. "Go on in."

After talking with several other breathalyzer virgins (who made up approximately 92% of my completely unbiased sample), I found comfort in the fact that I was not the only one who was seemingly incapable of blowing out birthday candles. One sophomore said that when she tried for the third time to get the device to register her breath, the administrator operating the breathalyzer snapped, "Moving your head around won't help anything. Look, blow on my hand."

But despite the indignities suffered, the procedure did seem to work the way it was intended to.

Two of Paly's assistant principals confirmed independently that there were no positive breathalyzer tests (although there was a rumor floating around the dance floor of at least one) and Assistant Principal Jerry Berkson maintained that the dance policy was much easier to enforce this year. "I've found that alcohol is a major contributor to raunchy dancing," he said, "and breathalyzers have really helped this year."

Assistant Principal Kim Diorio estimated over $3500 in ticket sales for a ticket count of 700, a figure substantiated by Principal Jacqueline McEvoy. According to Ms. Diorio, that number is about the same as last year. 

Of course, this means that demand for tickets has actually fallen among, to quote a certain vice-presidential candidate, "real" Paly students, and it is only the extra 100 freshmen who have made up the difference.

But I don't begrudge the freshmen. They've provided us with a number of really amusing amazing dancers. I caught up with one of them - actually, I yelled questions at him over the music and he tried to yell back but I missed most of what he said (like his name). His style of dancing is quite unique and really fun to watch; it's a combination of octopus arm movements and moonwalking. Apparently, this new genre was developed quite recently; the man with moves like an extraterrestrial mollusk didn't go to any dances at Jordan, although he did go to the first Paly dance.

And so ended the 2008-09 Paly Homecoming Dance. Congratulations to Homecoming Queen and Senior Spirit Commissioner Lucy McComas, and to her male counterpart, whose name I did not catch.

Has the administration hit on the right balance between control and freedom, inconvenience and safety? Only you can say, but what I can say is, live from Palo Alto, that was Saturday night.

PSAT: Are you ready?

Paly juniors this week are preparing to take the PSAT, a test that (supposedly) gives students an idea of how they will score on the all-powerful SAT, the mother of all tests.

Time was, anyone from the freshman with the overachieving parents to the senior who wanted one more practice round before the real deal could take the PSAT. This year, the Paly administration has decided to limit testing strictly to juniors.

The majority of freshmen, sophomores, and seniors probably couldn't care less, and I'm looking forward to that 10:45am Wednesday start time just as much as the next kid.

But shouldn't anybody be able to take the test if they want to?

Being a true Palo Alto kid, I trekked over to the tower building as soon as I heard about the test to ask the kind guidance staff if I could possibly take the PSAT this year. Pretty please?

This is what I got: "No. You'll have to make arrangements at another school."

Pause.

Um, could you maybe tell me which schools are allowing us lowly sophomores to partake in the sacred ritual of the PSAT? Give me a phone number? An email? A website? A name? Anything?

"No." Pause. We stared at each other.

Then, "I'm sorry. I don't know which other schools are offering it."

Um, lady, you're the supreme head of all standardized testing at Paly. You're sitting in front of a computer. There is a phone two inches from your right hand. And you can't make one call so that you can at least tell every overachieving Paly sophomore about another school to which they could pay money to sit for hours and take a test they don't really want to take anyway?

I left. We'd said all there was to be said. Well, I'd thought it, anyway.

Of course, there are legitimate reasons for the administration's decision. Yeah, there are a lot of Paly kids who'd like to take the PSAT. (Those extra 100 freshmen always ruin everything! :-) Yeah, that means more work for whoever fills out and files PSAT registration forms. Yes, I suppose if you really wanted to, you could make the warm-and-fuzzy-feel-good case that taking the PSAT as a sophomore and flunking it would kinda lower your self esteem.

But come on now. Kids as young as 7th grade are allowed to take the SAT! The real deal! And we, three years older, can't rely on our school to help us take the practice test? There isn't a way to register online for this test, like there is for the SAT. Collegeboard says, and I quote, "This test is administered by high schools, not through test centers. Online registration for the PSAT/NMSQT is not available."

It's like telling a 5-year-old at Great America that if they really want to go on Xtreme Skyflyer, they can go buy a ticket over there at the window. But a 10-year-old? No, you can't go on the carousel. You'll get hurt if you fall off the horse.